I seem to be walking around on the internet with a target on my forehead: “Scammer, pick me for your scam”. It is rather entertaining to get so much attention, and flattering too, in some ways. In other ways it annoys me to no end, enough to write about it, hoping the scoundrels read this too and will bother me no more.
After having spent quite a bit of time responding, I find the confirmation that yes, here is another scammer trying to find a bread and butter deal, or maybe just out to steal my identity. I am this close to not date on Internet sites at all.

For those ladies, who are still believing in such silly, teenage things as: love on first sight; soul mates; finding the love of your life; till death do us part; and romantic, self-sacrificing love, I would respond: in what century are you living? This is the age and decade of hunting for deals, did you not know that? Internet deals come in all form and shapes, women included, and you can even see their photo before ever meeting her in that market.

I can understand it, as it there’s no bottom to the numbers of single women looking for a mate, and why not try one’s luck? If these ladies can be on the Internet, they must have some money. If you look at their Facebook photos and see them, indeed, they have a great life, willing to share generously with someone else, anyone! If they are in Canada or another rich, developed nation, they might not catch on quickly, and be a willing victim. Yes, I get it.

Are you poor, or lazy, or better even: poor and lazy, and do you know how to use the phrases that some women crave, such as: You are beautiful; I know it must be you for me; I want to go to the end of the word for you, and such things, yes? Please, do NOT write me and tell your sweet seduction, do it to someone else, or better, not at all, to nobody. Unless you mean it and say it to your girlfriend who still believes you.

My second last lover boy was a spinner of tales, and quite inventive, with a great penchant for drama. He was a geologist, specialized in sale of minerals, he said, and he lived in Montreal for the last two years, of all places, but was raised in England and still had an office in London, UK. He cited a list of all his credentials, high school, colleges, and his university degree from there. I vetted it all on the net, each institution, and found them all. His mother had died in childbirth. His dad remarried, and he was mean, so his step-mom was nice. She left his father, when he was eight and took him with her. I will call him Paul. His step mom has ever since, lived with him. He was married long time ago, no children; they divorced, as he was always gone to exotic places for his mineral jobs that never were about oil, always hard minerals, like diamonds. He had worked for The Beers, the big diamond company. Funny thing, though, if he trades in diamond, he would be a member of the London Diamond Exchange, and he was not—I checked. He was now slowing down and thinking of finding a woman to love for the rest of his life. My photo had set him on that path. In short, this person (I hesitate to say “guy”, as the language used of sweet nothings and of spinning beguiling scenery and wishful thinking of the future, could only have been written by a woman), pursued me for two months with almost daily emails, in spite of my cool and rational responses. Maybe that turned him/her on, who knows.

I had a strong feeling that he was not the person who he said he was, but I played along. I had already reported him/her to the dating site as a scammer: within one message he proposed to go off line and use regular email: a sign of SCAMMER.
He also asked me not to share our conversations with anybody, as others tend to become jealous and destroy other’s happiness! A flag for a SCAMMER. Nothing added up. For one, the phone number never worked, just took messages, never let on whose number it was. S/He would not call me, or Skype, was always in transit and had no time for calls.

Once in the middle of the 2 months, he was silent for a week, but “came back” magically when I also stayed silent. His step-mom had died, he said, and he had to transport her body to Southampton, where she was originally from, to bury her there. That time, I finally got another photo out of him of her, a frail, very white lady, together with him, a Caucasian older man, who could be the same man as the photo he displayed on the dating site. Before her death, he had already made an offer on a home in my town, a big home with a view and a pool. Unfortunately, the purchase could not proceed under the circumstances; he was not making the move to my home town.
At that moment, I was expecting a plea for a substantial sum of money for some reasonable reason, such as due to a bank problem (because of being in transit), he had a need for a loan, but it never came. He kept writing and I suggested that there is no sense in continuing a conversation, now that he would not move. He said he would still travel back to Canada. I suggested to see some proof of that he was even going to Canada. To my surprise he sent me an electronic copy of a ticket London UK- Montreal for a week later. That set me thinking, could he book a flight, and then cancel, and still get his money back, or not pay at all? I suspect a good SCAMMER could indeed.

Paul also traveled for a distraction from his step mom’s death to Dubai for a mineral sale, letting me know how luxurious the hotel was and how beautiful the scenery, and how he wished that one day we could do this together, or something outrageously romantic for somebody you have never seen or spoken with — a delusion.

I kept all the emails for some reason; his/her language was good, sometimes with odd turns of a phrase, and mostly ignoring completely what I wrote back. Eventually, I got tired of the charade. I confronted him in a jolly way, asking him whether he wanted to meet my daughter. Since we are such good friends already, he surely would want to meet her, who happened to live in Montreal where he supposedly was, currently.
That was the end. He/she sent me a terse email that he wished me luck, but we were not meant for each other. Then, out of the blue, another terse email, another 2 months later: “This is proof that I was sincere. Too bad others must destroy someone’s happiness; see where I am now and enjoy the photos.” I clicked on the link, but nothing came up, but the Google mail website! When I tried to sign in to my account, I had forgotten the password….

About BABYBOOMER johanna van zanten

My name is Johanna van Zanten. I am a baby boomer, interested in writing and connecting with other writers and readers to engage in discussions and information sharing, to share a point of view about current global issues, writing, and publishing, diversity, immigration, travel, music, life, specific baby boomer issues, and dating/relationship issues. I have written a novella, ON THIN ICE about baby-boomer Adrienne and will link this blog with the information website for this novella. Right now, I am trying out the blog.
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  1. theresawynn says:

    Johanna, I read your post with interest. The sum total of my experience with internet dating comes from the movie, then TV series of the same name, ‘Catfish’. Have you watched it? This scamming is so common that the word ‘Catfished’ has become part of the vernacular.. If you haven’t seen it you must! It is brilliant. In the meantime, I wish you luck. Wash that target off your forehead before you post another headshot on-line. LOL.

  2. hi Theresa, thanks for your comment, much appreciated. Yes, it seems at times that half the world is trying to get their hands on what the other half has, or maybe the proportion is a bit different. The solution would probably be to distribute wealth and freedom more equitable over all the world. It seems that most scam attempts come from Nigeria where they have fine tuned this type of scam.
    Hope you will have a great 2015.

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