The Vagina is back!
Now that porn has come to the world and gone mainstream, with its prevalent depiction of the vagina in its video scenes as a central ‘character’ (oh, yeah, and the naked women connected to it), isn’t time that a real truth about the vagina (and how women experience sex) should be known?
True, the women in porn videos (with the purpose: exciting men) are depicted AS IF they are turned on. That’s intended to enhance the guy’s excitement, thinking that his actions are causing her to get turned on too. But wake up, these are actresses and the script says they should act that way.
Thanks to Naomi Wolf, old war horse of the second emancipation wave, the word is becoming more mainstream. She dared to recently publish a book by that name, Vagina, in which we get to read new information about the connections of the vagina to our lives, to the rest of our body, and to our capacity to love.
Readers get to know how having an orgasm tends to attach a woman emotionally to the man who she experienced an orgasm with, even if she does not really like him and had to do most of the work to get there. (Many women do not even have an orgasm during sex with a man).
It’s like women offer themselves up and become enslaved when experiencing an orgasm. The research has proven this emotional dynamic and translated the evidence in terms of its release of feel-good hormones during orgasm. (Read the book for the technical terms).
That might be true, as women often release their love, after they committed enough to a man to even have sex. For many women, sex IS love. (Not so for most men who tend to separate love and sex and can cheat on their mate with the excuse: “she meant nothing to me”). Of course many women exist who just want sex for the hormonal equivalent of a high on drugs, as they already know the pitfalls of emotionally involved sex and don’t want to go there anymore. They have learned to compartmentalize feelings, just as well as most men can.
But of course, if she did not consent to having sex, this emotional bonding does not happen for her. On the contrary, she then get pushed into a sort of post traumatic state and becomes thus emotionally negatively connected to her vagina in the case of rape.
A woman forced to having sex might resists a little, and half-heartedly says “No, don’t!” and often does not resist at all, for fear that she might get really hurt, or even killed, if she would resist.
That situation then confirms the male myth sustained by the porn industry, and in the rapist’s mind, as it justifies their rape act: “She wanted it, she asked for it, she did not resist, she liked me, she liked it. Women like it rough.” Much of porn is about bondage, force, and involuntary sex–involuntary on the part of the women.
. Oliver Ray’s painting.
What makes in my view the book 50 Shades of Grey by author EL James such a dishonest and misleading book, is that the semi-voluntary s&m scenes are really describing how the sexually experienced “master” is exerting his dominance and teaching the book’s protagonist–a virgin just out of college–to associate pleasure with submission.
This first book 50 Shades is really a manual for brainwashing and inequality, and must undoubtedly lead to an abusive relationship. I wonder why this book took off among North American housewives. Is it the only way they can get their mates interested again in having sex with them?
The first volume had 2 more follow ups and supposedly in the end of it all, the master’s relationship with the woman and the many occurrences of sex with her has healed the guy from this aberration. That is a fallacy as well, as sexual appetites and the nature of sexual orientations are notoriously hard to treat. No, love does not conquer all! So I can only conclude that this very successful trilogy for women further embedded a number of existing myths about sex deeper into the minds of middle class American women (and men).
What is really going on during orgasm?
Thank you so much to Dr. Barry Komisaruk and Dr. Beverly Whipple of Rutgers University in New Jersey and their lab research with actual female volunteers. They hooked up the subjects to lab instruments and took MRI images while the women were having an orgasm. We now know the effects of orgasm on the brain.
The MRIs showed that the female subject’s brain during an orgasm is activated all throughout the brain, interconnecting all functions in the body and mind, and maximum activity is reached, all systems are going, like a Christmas tree lighting up.
In comparison, the picture of the brain of someone watching TV is very similar to that of someone asleep. Enough said!
In a CBC documentary recently aired on TV about Dr. Komisaruk and Dr. Whipple’s research, a video clip demonstrated that orgasm can be solely induced by the brain, by the subject thinking titillating and stimulating thoughts that induced an actual orgasm without any physical stimulation or manipulation. The brain indeed IS the most powerful sex organ.
It’s a well known fact that applies to all biological systems: use it or lose it, so also for sexual organs. Could it just be that having orgasms makes women smarter and more aware of their whole body?
Might this be the reason that some cultures and religions want to maintain the practice of female circumcision? Might it just be that the tabu on orgasms for women as enforced by the religious patriarchy is based on their fear of women? Fear that women after experiencing orgasms might become more demanding of their mate? That, after they experienced release of all those hormones that give the high after an orgasm, they want more and men get sidetracked from religious fervour and from making a living and instead are wanting to please their women?
The reason often given for female circumcision–using the euphemism for cutting out the clitoris–allegedly is to protect women from themselves and their sexual desires. Well, we women one have only reply to that: hands off! We need protection from men who do not want to listen to us or ask for our consent. We call it genital mutilation, and it is nowhere prescribed in any of the religious books that are supposedly the word of any god. The idea was man-made.
Women are historically in many cultures seen as unclean, because they bleed during menstruation. Well, we also bleed when we are raped, when our organs—also god-given—are cut out against our will.
Those religious and traditional societal rules to keep women out of society as fully functioning members, temporary or permanently, is based on nothing more than prejudice and male chauvinism about women’s capacities. Maybe they are jealous, or envious? Being able to bear children with anyone and having tremendous orgasms unrelated to any men’s ability to give them that, might be threatening, indeed. One can see where myths needed to be created to keep a woman under control.
Recent research has indicated that no such a thing as the Pre Menstrual Syndrome exists and we now know that the idea is based on false assumptions that could not be borne out in research. So there, take that!
Men are used to taking their penis out, pee in the street behind a car, against a wall, and show it at times to children if he is a really pathetic specimen, or they brag about its size (small sized condoms do not exist!).
Men walk around naked with penises hanging free for all to see inside sports dressing rooms. When parents have their son circumcised in Jewish circles, it is an event worthy of a celebration. In North American hospitals it used to be a common routine procedure for newborns to have a surgeon just make a small cut in the little penis’foreskin to release it from the penis head to stretch along the shaft, for hygiene purposes (scientific proof exists that circumcision prevents problems for women when men don’t clean their penis well enough).
The word penis is already quite the common word in the media. Not so the word vagina, yet. People giggle, or look embarrassed, and the media sensors will substitute vagina with ***** in the printed press, as if it was an obscene word.
True equality lies in my opinion in even and equal exposure of the words without embarrassment. It is just an organ.
We should use, and teach our children the real biological term, not the derogatory replacement words, the C word or other silly words, or incorrect words, like peepee, no, full out Vagina as in the Vagina Monologues should be the word used.
Let us be proud bearers of the wonderful and smart organ we have and defend our right to use it as we see fit.
Those who already do: Keep up the good work!
Let me know what you think or if you think any of the above ideas and statements are not true at all…..or if you have read Naomi Wolf’s book and what you think about it.
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